col 1 I I of in is 1 a THE HERALD DEPEW, N. I. APRIL 14, 1904. 7 anxious to see something material for bia money, "Come out on the roof, and I'll show it to you," said Thady, going into an adjoining root, nad reappearing with a telescope under his arm. They climb ed the narrow stairway through the scuttle and stood on the roof under the stars and the weekly wash of the ten eleut -Did you notice if the moon was apogee lasht sald Thady in a mysterious whisper, which wade the abivers run up and down Clancy'4 spine.
didn't." replied Clancy in a tone which implied contrition for such carelessness. "I'll mind it the next time, though." that said Thady verely as be adjusted the leas of the telescope and swept the beavens with the instrument. Now, this telescope was a most remarkable one. In order that his patrons should see what he wanted them to see Thady had painted three stars upon the glass at the end of the cylindef. He handed the telescope to Clany, "Clap your eye to the little lad, point it up to the middle of the sky and tell me what you see there while I am sayIng the Clancy did as be was told, while Thady intoned in a brogue that could have alleed like smoked beef! "I conjure you, 0 Sagittarius, in the name of Muthratthn, of Adonia, of Semiphorns and of Aristotle to tell me under what sign was Paddy Clancy's little lad born.
What did you see?" be concluded as Clancy lowered the tele scope. saw three big sta-ara close together," repiled Clancy, whose teeth were rattling like castanets. "Oh, but you're the lucky man, Clattexclaimed Thady, stars you saw were O'Ryan and Arcturus and Niptune in osculation, as they say in astronomy. And for the rayson they were together that way, kissing each other, your little lad was born under the sign of Places the dah." be self said Clancy, sniffIng in imagination unlimited cod and I mackerel, "No; but he'll be a great man with a book and line. All persons born on Patrick's day are fond of fish, with special rega-ards to Friday.
But I'm sorry to tell you, Clancy, that your boy will be a beggar." beggar is it!" exclaimed Clancy angrily. "And is that what I'm aftber giving $2.25 to And he down the stairs three steps at a time, smarting at the injustice of astrology. But time, the healer, abated Clancy's rage, and Thady flourished, for Clancy's tales of his den of mysteries brought him many customers until another Patrick's day had rolled around. "Saving your prisince, your honor. said Clancy as Thady ushered him into the apartment of magle, "Tut five days 18 late this time bekase the bables were born March 22.
But we're going to call thim Patrick's day babies anyway, and I want you to be casting their 1a- The tivity, sir. "How many are there," said Thady, "and how much do they weigh?" "They're only twins, sir, and little lads, weighing five pounds apiece. I suppose you could throw off a quarter on account of horoscoping thim both together, eh?" "I'm sorry, Clancy, but on account of the beef trust and the price of coal I couldn't take off a eint. We get better results from heavyweight childer. But we'll boll some sarpint wather and see what we cm do." Thady lit the spirit lamp under the brass kettle and threw a handful of turnip tops Into the vessel, telling Clancy they were leaves from the assabaraca: tree, which possessed magical powers.
Then he cut a lock of red hair from Clancy's head, which he placed upon a fire shovel, together with a pinch of niter, sulphur, antimony and charcoal. Setting fire to the mixture, a bright blue flame flashed up which shed a sepulchral glow over the chamber of horrors and caused gooseflesh "YOUR BOY WILL BE A BEGGAR." to come out all over Clancy's body. A reeking smoke filled the room, permeated with the odor of burned hair. Then the kettle began to sing, "Don't stir for your life, Clancy," said Thady in a whisper. "The kettle 1s singin' the witches' song for the procession of the equinoxes.
It says your children were born under the sign of Arles, the billygoat. They will be of noisy and troublesome character, always fighting and drinking and kickIng up a phillelew, but very successful in getting money." "That's good!" interrupted Clancy in a tone of great satisfaction. "But," continued Thady, "they will get their money in queer ways, according to the sta-ars." "How's that?" asked Clancy anxious- ty, while the steam from the kettle whistled from the spout. "One of replied Thady solsunly, be a thief- -what the por lice call a second story man." and ages? exclaimed Clancy, forgetting all about the mysticism. that the kind of childer I'm raisin beggars and what the sta-ars say." repiled Thady.
"But that's not the worst. The third child will be a murderer" I'll strangle thim all before they're day older! 'said Clancy, never was a beggar bor a thief Bor a murderer by the nanie of Clancy, I'll smother thim before they're big enough to beg or steal or murder." Then suspicion came to Clancy that be had been humbugged, and by the light in his eye Thady knew he had gone too far. Before the astrologer could utter a word Clancy bad him by BEFORE HE COULD UTTER A WORD CLANOT HAD HIM BY THE THROAT. the throat, and 1 be was helpless in the hands of the brawny bricklayer. He managed to stammer: "Hold on, Clancy! I'm not through with your horoscope!" "Well, explain, thin!" said Clancy Bercely, easing up a little in bis hold.
"I forgot to tell you that your childer are under the care of the blessed St. Patrick, being born on or near his birthday, and mebbe he will overcome the influence of the sta-ars." "Faith, that's true," said Clancy, releasing his victim, whose wits were working overtime to get out of the scrape, Knowing that Clancy was not a very proficient reader, he picked up a volume of patent office reports. "What's that?" said Clancy suspiclously. "It's the book of fate," replied Thady. "Let us see what the great necromancer Aristotle says.
Here It Is: "The natural tendency of child toward crime can be overcome by a course of eddiention it 'tis begun when they are very young. The parents should teach thim to be industrious and honest, obedient, and when they, are grown up neither fishes nor craba nor goats will have anny effect upon thim." sounds said ey, was too quick with you. But what would you eddicate the first little lad to be -the one you said would be beggar?" "I'd sind him to school, and I'd make him a college president on the trail of philanthropists with money. D'ye see, "Faith, I do," replied Clancy. "But what'll I do with the other "Well, thin," replied Thady, "now you're axin' me, I think I'd make lawyer out of the thief.
'Tis my idee that it wouldn't be very hard work elther." "I agree with you, sir," said Clancy. "But what'll I do with the other little "That's the murderer, ain't it?" said Thady. "Troth, it is, sir." "Well, If I were you I'd make a docthor of him, and you won't be very far wrong," concluded Thady as be bowed his delighted patron out of the room. As the door closed upon Clancy the seer wiped the perspiration from his face with a trembling hand and muttered: "Sometimes fortune telling Is easy work, and then, again, I'd rather be a bricklayer." In Good Cause, The measure of charity la the degree of personal sacrifice. A story which has probably been told before comes from a member of the committee of arrangements for a church fair.
In her work she had employed a good natured colored boy, who had fetched and cartied for her day and night. He had collected all the potted palms fo the neighborhood and taken them to the church without mishap. He had borne messages to every member of the committeee. Although he had been paid for the work, his excellent service seemed to demand an additional reward. To combine two good deeds In one the lady called him after all the patrons had finished supper and told him to eat as much as he could.
He obeyed. Ice cream freezers were scraped to the bottom. One pretty maid after another brought him the remains of chocolate cakes. The strawberry boxes were cleaned down to the smallest pink stains. Still Bob ate and smiled.
Finally, when there was nothing more to eat, the lady. came into the room and prepared to pay for. Bob's supper. The treasurer made out the It amonnted to $2.25. Bob's patron looked surprised, but said nothing, and opened her purse.
Bob stood beside her, wiping his mouth and shifting from one foot to the other. "Thank you very much, miss," be said. "I ate all dey was. I done de bes' I could fob de cause." NEWS OF THE WEEK. from page tour William, reported to be in health, visited Malta Chis discovered there were many ob- the way of municipal ownerstreet railroads, as voted at Tuesday's election- Becretary Admiral Dewey and Rear AdTaylor gave their views before house committee on a general stair the experimenta the agricultural department have demonstrated that the Bordeaux mix.
will exterminate typhold and mai. germs and alen mosquitoes- -Can. of the several states which are to select delegates to the Demo national convention showed that Parker sentiment was growing and Hearst strength decreasing At a conference of missionaries at the Cath. university in Washington a move: was started to organize a force trained evangelists for work in the -April 28 will probably be the for the termination of the pres: session of congress- Seventeen members of a funeral party aboard trolley car were Injured Punday Syracuse when tha car Jumped the tracks. Mrs.
Thomas Breanan, the widow, had two ribs brokenMacQueen, the anarchist, who is five year sentence in New Jersey for inciting the alik trade riots Paterson in June, 1902, arrived from Bouthampton and will surrender Tues. to the Passale county authorities -Errors In her books, due to of business methods, caused Miss Anna Doyle to leave in New and she has successtully baffled efforts to find her for 10 days. Wednesday, April 13. It belleved at Tokio that fighting commenced on the Yalu river. It known that the Russians occupy the bank in force- the frat since coronation the pope mass in St.
Peter's in celebration the 13th centennial of St. Gregory Great- -Colonel Leutwein, gover. of German Southwest Africa, tells another fight with the Hereros last eight hours in which the natives were repulsed Vast preparations being conducted by Russia, and a million troops will be the vast total in the field before General Kus opatkin believes the time to strike arrived -Dr. Roswell Park Buffalo, acording to dispatch from Ber. says American surgery outstrips of Germany, and declares that cancer la the disease most prevalent the United States- Charles Tucker was arraigned In Waltham, Maas, on the charge of having killed -Man Mabel Page, and was committed without ball for hearing on April -Democrats in Washington frightened by reports that David Hill thinks of compromising with Bryanites by reaffirming the platforms 1896 and 1900 and all agree that would he party suicide---The McCall committee will report to the house representatives that no member of house was guilty of using improper influence in the postoffice department -Secretary Moody urged the house committee on naval affairs to favor bill to create a general board in the navy- Hostile Moros refused to meet General Wood in Taraca valley and tacked the American troops who destroyed the enemy's fortified cottasMajor manding General the division Henry C.
of the Corbin, Atlantic, announced that the battle field of Bull Run had been selected for important maneuvers of regulars and militia be held in the autumn--The government crop report showed a poor condition of winter wheat Thursday, April 14. While going to meet the Japanese fleet off Port Arthur the ship Petropavlovek struck a mine the roadstead and Admiral Makarof and 800 of the crew were drowned the sinking -Miss Addie Blossom was shot and killed at Batavia, by Clyde Ore, who then killed himself- -General Kuropatkin reported to the czar a skirmish on the Corean bank of the Yalu, in which 50. Japanose were killed or drowned, and which there were no Russian casualt100- -Rear Admiral Melville is be entertained at a complimentary banquet by the Institute of Naval Architecta, of Great Britain- Senor Spanish premier, slightly wounded with a knife by anarchist named Artao, at BarcelonaIn the reichstag Count von Bulow says Germany has no objection Anglo-French entente -Arthur four, the British prime minister, vites discussion on the Thibet mission -Representative Bartlett said the house that Judge Parker would the nominee of the Democratic at the St. Louis convention- -Republican leaders in the senate surrendered and signified a willingness to permit a complete investigation of the office department- -H. Mason a wealthy young Philadelphia lawyer, WAS taken from his yacht at Norfolk, on a charge.
of lunacy -William E. Chandler, former secretary of navy, declared, in favor of a general staff for the navy- -Robert Goelet New York had a narrow escape death in Memphis, where automobile was wrecked in a Ion -New York surgeons confirmed Dr. Roswell Park's assertion that oer is spreading rapidly in this try and that medical men are in dark as to its cause or cure. CARDS printed at the offer the Depew Herald in the best style and the lowest HOW TO LIVE LONG. Eat Life Sill More sparinaly, A Lesson In Astrology A St.
Patrick's Day By ERNEST JARROLD Copyright, 10s, by Ernest Jarrold ored ATRICK looked lamp up at CLANCY, which the hung crimson in bricklayer, front of the tall tenement and slow. ly spelled out the mystic legend painted upon the glass as follows: THADY DIONYRIOS O'FLYNN, Astrologian and Fortune Teller. Top Floor, "Faith, be lives up near the sta-ars" said Patrick, ought to be able to read thim." Then he began to climb. Meanwhile the Irish seer, was eating his supper, which consisted of pickled pigs' feet -and beer, in his counsel chamber. The room was hung with cotton, velvet black Erebus, which was spotted at intervals with gilt stars.
A stuffed rattlesnake bung over the chandeller, and Jons sticks protruded from a vase on the mantel. Rugs of wildest skin lay upon the floor. Stuffed lizards with green eyes lay upon a chiffonier, while upon a table stood a small brass kettle, upon the bulbous sides of which were printed the magle words "Tala" and "Osiris." The CLANCY, THE BRICKLAYER 18 CRIED. seer wore a long garment of red dannel reaching to his feet and tied around the waist with a black velvet rope. The apartment was dimly lit by the light from several Chinese lanterns pendant from the celling.
The seer had drained the last drop from the can when he beard a feeble knock at the door. Springing to his feet, O'Flym put on a conical cap of papier mache painted a vivid orange color and adjusted a black beard reaching to his knees. He hastily lit the joss sticks, Then be opened the door and started back with a ery of assumed amazement. "Paddy Clancy, the bricklayer!" he cried. "Yes, your royal highness," said Clancy as he walked palpitating into the room and fell upon his knees with fright at the sight of the sinister rattlesnake.
"But how did you know me name?" "I read it in the sta-ars," replied 0'Flynn: in a rich brogue. The seer would have been taken for an Egyptian priest if he had not opened his mouth. "And are you the astrologian?" gasped Patrick as he arose from his knees and fell into a chair. "I am the hierophant," replied, O'Flynn, "and you, Paddy Clancy, are now in the chamber of horrors." "Oh, millia murther, lave me out of this!" said. Clancy, starting, for the door.
"Sit down; sit down!" said 0'Flynn. "Shame on you, Paddy, and you comin' round here this blessed Patrick's night to consult me about the fortune of the little lad that's born with your image last night! What'll you tell your wife?" "Troth, thin, I hope you'll excuse me, sir, but the baste freckened me," said Clancy, resuming his seat. "And what'll you char-rge to tell me the fortune of little Patsy?" the instinct for bargaining getting the better of his fear. "How much does he weigh?" said the seer. "Nine pounds," said Clancy proudly.
"It will cost you $2.25," said O'Flynn. always char-rge 25 cints a pound for the horoscopes and fortunes of little boys. Now, if it was a gur-rl you'd have the Job done for 20 cints the pound. Boys are more dignacious than the gur-ris. D'you see, Patrick so," said Patrick as he counted out the money Into the greedy palm of Thady.
"I don't begridge you the money, but 'tis manny brick I'd lay for that price." "I know that," said Thady, "but you wouldn't have your little lad going through life widout his horoscope, would you? That 'u'd be a terrible misfortune. Sure, he couldn't ate his brek quist widout it." "I suppose be couldn't," said Patrick, with resignation. He had a vague Idea that a horoscope resembled a stomach or a kidney. "Where la this horoscope you are talking about?" continued he, Emperor perfect cagO stacien ship last Moody, miral the for by tore arial vassers soon erstie olle ment of date ent lam under in day ance York all has That most men dig their with their teeth has seldom been poluted out more forcibly than is done in the Century in an article by Roger Tracy, entitled "flow to Live Long. The threescore and ten limit to human life la pronounced a fallacy, Death from old age, occurring at.
seventy or eighty, la a misnomer. Comparative physiologists, we are told, have set the natural years of man at 100, even at 120, and the reason why the overwhelming majority fall abort of normal life la comprised in one sea tence we all eat too much. He, then who would live to be old, retaining sight, hearing and some digestion, nor relinquishing the power of healthy en joyment, has, but to follow a simple rule. Eat sparingly. Refrain from clogging the system by an oversupply of food.
Never entirely satiaty the sp petite, and make it a habit occasionally to omit a meal or two altogether. "It I were to assign any one thing especially conducive to long life from a study of the habits of centenarians. it would be semistarvation." one authority quoted, and the example la elted of one Luigi Cornaro, who, hav Ing lived the pace that killa, amended his ways when death threatened and so reorganized his enfeebled body by a lite of temperance and restraint that he lived to be 100, although the doctors had given him up at forty, In middle life, from thirty -five to forty-dre, cording to -Dr. Tracy, there comes waning of the powers. The effects of overindulgence in eating or drinking are no longer vigorously thrown off as In youth.
If the fact to not recog nized and the same babits are kept up beretofore, there is trouble abead. But if the Individual adopts a new regimen of diet, diminisbes his meals and regulates bia existence an becomes his soberer years sort of rejuvenation follows, and if at the sec ond elimacteric, occurring somewhere between sixty and seventy, there is further pull up in the food supply, regulated by the slackening powers of assimilation, a hale old age is extremely likely to ensue. HEALTH RULES. A clean and cheerful house makes happy home. Rise early, retire early and All your day with work.
Frugality and sobriety form the best elixir of longevity. Cleanliness prevents rust; the best cared for machines last the longest. Water and bread maintain life; pure air and sunshine are indispensable to health. Enough sleep repairs waste and strengthens; too much sleep softens and enfeebles. Cheerfulness makes love of life, and love of life is balf of health.
On the contrary, sadness and discouragement hasten old age. The mind is refreshed and invigorated by distractions and amusem*nt, but abuse of them leads to dissipation and dissipation to vice. To be sensibly dressed in ta give freedom to one's movements and enough warmth to be protected from changes of temperature. His Self Sacrifcing Disposition. "There isn't anything my boy WiFflam won't do to oblige a friend if he likes him," Mrs.
Hockatus was saying. had a leg of lamb the other day for dinner, and Willie ate till I thought he'd burst, but when he went out to play ten minutes afterward a neighbor's boy told him they were going to have roast goose for dinner at their house and asked him to go and eat with him. Willie didn't want to be uncivil, no he went along, and just am sure as I'm sitting here he pretended he was hinngry and ate more of that roast goose than the other boy Tribune. Easy Going Butcher, The Kansas City Journal tells of a Kansas man who went to A rural butcher shop in Kentucky to order porterhouse steak. "I have just started in on this beef," said the butcher, "and I won't be down to the porterhouse until 'about 2 o'clock." His method was to lay half a beef on his block and begin at one end and cut along until it was gone, serving his customers with pieces all the way from the hoof to the neck regardless of their No Perfect Health, Sir Michael Foster in a lecture on "Health and Ill Health" to the members of the Workingmen's club said that health, like happiness, did not exist.
They had goal, or limit, and, while seeming attainable, eluded perfect possension. The body consisted of a number of mechanisms which had the closest and most exact relations. As they approximated to harmony there was health, but when discord came, Ill bealth. -London Telegraph. Walked "I'm sorry, Mra.
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